Monday Recap: The Tower

Who did we meet?: Rapunzel. Framing device for the latest magical widget. Is the reference to her dead older brother a clever semi-reference to Sondheim's Into the Woods or another deceased character of color?  Both?

Humor Credit: Lily Sparks

 





What did we learn?: We know what Zelena is after, and it's not (just) the Charming-Snow baby. We saw her go after David's "courage". Which means she's quite probably going after a brain and heart as well - unless she's already got them. I quite literally had a light bulb moment watching tonight's episode when I realized that Rumpel really is the only character in town with any brains. So that just leaves the heart.

Possible candidates for heartsnatching include:

• Henry. Is the heart of the truest believer still true if his memory is wiped?
• Snow. Does her heart still have that 'out out damned spot'?
• Emma. Because...she's ostensibly the protagonist?
• Regina. Because...magical powers? If Zelena gets Henry, does she have Regina's (and/or Emma's) "heart"?
• Hook. This is the one that's most interesting to me. I'll come back to this.

Where and When do the events take place?: The EF between a year or 9 months or so ago. Storybrook present day

Why is this important? This is important: Where. Is. Neal? 1. He seems to be the only unaccounted for party that the Storybrookians are concerned about, 2. Zelena talks to Rumpel about trying to get her hands on what he spent a lifetime seeking? Spent a lifetime seeking, and was never able to find - courage. Rumpel is a self-identified coward. 3. Zelena's got the Dark Dagger which presumably gives her control over Rumpel - last we HEARD about that knife, Belle and Neal were going to find it in the EF. The last we SAW of it, Rumpel was using it to kill (?) Peter Pan.

Wait, what?: Didn't Hook say that Charming and Snow were in trouble? Is he going to follow up on that, or...what? They don't actually seem to be in any more danger than anyone else/any more than usual.

Oh Henry!: Totally still down with Teen Henry. He sleeps, he eats, he plays video games and we dump him at Granny's.

Really OUAT?: We're really going to go after the latest Magical Big Bad without even looking for any of the faries or Rumpelstiltskin? Why is Belle so resigned to Rumpel being dead? Perhaps most importantly - WHO IS RUNNING THE LIBRARY?

Shut Up Charming: I'm actually glad they gave His Royal Derpiness something to do in this episode, but that first scene with Emma was creepy and awkward as HELL.  Her dress was cool though. It sort of made up for the fact that she was wearing Eric's white cable knit sweater the rest of the episode.

Shut Up Snow: I know you're supposed to be innocent and trusting and all but would it kill you to ask for references for the a-little-bit-too-damn-convenient midwife who showed up at your door?  I mean, she was a midwife for more than just the past year that no one can remember, right?

Rando Thoughts/Crackpot Theories:

I think Zelena's got Hook's heart and is using it to control him a la Cora.

I don't think Zelena is actually Regina's half-sister. This week we saw her snatch blood from Rumpel and use it to open the safe. We know she snatched blood from Regina as well, via the flying monkey, which she may have used to open Regina's secret passage to Cora's mausoleum/vault

I think Zelena's end game includes Neal (where else did he go in his bean-jumping-realm travels??) but I don't know why. This  might explain why she sent a monkey after Emma. Did Neal cast a (modified) Dark Curse to bring everyone back to Storybrooke, hoping to wipe memories to escape Zelena and simultaneously get himself back to Emma and Henry?

Or maybe Zelena dangled the potential of Emma in front of Hook to get him to work with/for her and take out Neal?

What's the purpose of  doing the "sisters" reveal, and then wiping Regina's memory? When Regina cast the Dark Curse it wiped everyone's memories except for her, and separated them from their happiness. What's the point of having everyone's memories erased this time around?

OH SHIT YOU GUYS.

OUAT might have actually done something clever this time.

Remember that time in New York City Serenade Hook said he had a life to get back to? "A Pirate's Life". That probably made most people think of this (lyrics start at 2:30):

But remember - we're talking about Captain Hook. He's not a Pirate of the Carribean. He's got roots in Neverland. And in Disney's Neverland, the pirates sing THIS:

Ohh, a pirate's life is a wonderful life
A-rovin over the sea
Give me a career as a buccaneer
It's the life of a pirate for me
Ohh, the life of a pirate for me

Ohh, A pirate's life is a wonderful life
They never bury your bones
For when it's all over
A jolly sea rover drops in on his friend Davy Jones
Ohh, his very good friend Davy Jones.

Ohh, a pirate's life is a wonderful life
You'll find adventure and sport
But live every minute
For all that is in it
The life of a pirate is short...

Pronouns. Oy.

Ok, legit crackpot theory.

Is it possible that "the boy" the Seer prophesizes isn't Henry Mills, but Peter Pan? The seer says that her power has limits, and there's a distinction between what can be from what shall be. A lot of the speculation hinges on the idea of what constitutes "undoing", but maybe we're scrutinizing the wrong detail.

Obviously Rumplestiltskin hasn't learned his lesson about acting rashly based on unspecified prophecy. You'd think after that Oedipus debacle, there'd be a support group for people that get prophesied about.

The Seer's dying prophecy is as follows:

"You will be reunited with your son and it will come in a most unexpected way. The boy. A young boy will lead you to him. But beware Rumpelstiltskin, for that boy is more than he appears. He will lead you to what you seek, but there will be a price. The boy will be your undoing."*

"Ooh, yeah, honey when the teacher said you were 'Special'
she meant something different..."

Worth noting that we're starting S3 with Rumple and Baelfire separated again.

Maybe I just have a hard time being open to the idea that Henry could ever possibly be "more than he appears".

*S2 Ep14 - Manhattan.

September Speculation: Killian Jones Edition!

Things I did not do between May and September: Catch up on Scandal, Revenge or even all of Game of Thrones. Blog intermittently while re-watching episodes of OUAT.

Things I did do between May and September: Read all of the currently in-print Song of Ice and Fire Series. Began watching The Big Bang Theory, Watched Bob's Burgers, and Orange is The New Black. Bitched about S2 of OUAT being UTTER NONSENSE while trying to entice other people to watch the show. (I was bad at this last thing. You see the conflict.)

There are other things that I did and did not do, but those would make this blog long and entirely too personal and not at all about OUAT, so...yeah.

Welcome to September and S3! It is a new season! Jane Espenson is back! I am optimistic! I want to be optimistic! I remember what happened the last time I was optimistic!

I could write about my hopes and fears and disappointments about this show - but I'm going to make a very conscious attempt to be forward thinking, and only look back as it relates to what we know or don't know about the story so far.

With that in mind - I'm going to start off with some speculation about Captain Killian Jones - aka Hook.

"No, you're right. I wear less eyeliner than
Jack Sparrow. Three guesses why."

Who is he?: Killian Jones, pirate, Captain of the Jolly Roger. Former ally of Cora, enemy of Rumpelstiltskin, Relationships with the rest of the Storybrooke Gang - unclear, bordering on antagonistic. Emma is CLEARLY drawn to him, but (rightly) doesn't trust him. Snow White is understandably repulsed by him, and he and David are doing the alpha dog 'circle and snap' deal that guys do. To be fair, Hook has been charmingly lewd toward David's wife and daughter, so David sort of has the moral upper hand (HA! Get it?) here. His relationship with Regina is a bit fraught. She's got to hold him a little responsible for Cora's death - which is for some reason upsetting to her, even though she sent Hook to Wonderland with instructions to KILL CORA. Then again, Regina's default is to blame Snow White, so maybe not.

What do we know about him?: He's the current Charming Rogue in Emma's life, whether she knows it or not, or wants to admit it. It'll be interesting to see if her "superpower" re-manifests in his presence. He spent time in Neverland for the purpose of living long enough to plot his revenge against The Dark One. He has a healthy (?) fear/respect of the Lost Boys.

"Captain, I really don't think we should
accept blankets from these colonists."

What do we NOT know about him?: How he became a pirate. How he became a captain. How much time he spent in Neverland, (Query: How can one "spend time" in Neverland? We know there is day and night, and they're not on some kind of temporal loop that causes them to repeat actions a la 'Groundhog Day', but people...lifeforms?...don't age. Does this include plants? If nothing dies, how do food chains work? I've been watching a lot of The Magic School Bus lately.) and what he did or who he interacted with while he was there. Incidentally, we also don't know what happened to the rest of his crew. When he heads into Neverland, he's got a ship full of pirates. All of whom but Smee go conspicuously missing. Smee goes missing later. There's a very good chance he's still a rat.**

Where is he from/going?: Originally from the Enchanted Forest, Hook travels to Neverland after Milah's death and his impromptu amputation so that he can remain the same age and plot the death of the Dark One.

Why does he do the things he does?: Short term - revenge and survival. "If there's one thing I want more than my revenge, it's my life." Hook wants to survive long enough to get to Rumplestiltskin and kill him, thereby avenging Milah. Long term - Hook, like everyone else on this show, is looking for love. D'aw. The bitter pill is that he FOUND it, albeit briefly. Moral of the Story: Happily Ever After, rarely is. The bigger question is what led Killian/Hook to become a pirate, and why does he have these fixed ideas about Good Form and fair fights?

A black pirate captain?
Why not? It worked in Blazing Saddles.
(Wait, that's not right...)

Before S2 began, I entertained the idea that Lancelot after being banished from the Round Table in disgrace, might have become Hook. Swordsman, strong principles, it could have worked. Oh well.

How does he impact the story?: Well, his only motivation that we've seen, is to kill Rumpelstiltskin. Which means he has to get in the same universe, to begin with. I'm not sure why Cora needed Hook, but we know why Hook needed Cora. Now that he knows where his nemesis is, and what some of his weaknesses are (Belle, the dagger, and garden variety poisons APPARENTLY.) he's....helping him get to Neverland because....reasons?

What does the protagonist want?: I know, I know. Hook isn't a protagonist. ...in Peter Pan's story, as we know it. But first - that's Captain JAMES Hook, not Killian Jones. And bigger point, that's in Peter Pan's story.  No one is ever the villain in their own story, and EVERYONE has their own story. Told from Hook's POV, he's avenging the the death of his beloved at the hands of the Dark One through the use of Good Form and Pointy Objects. So, what he wants is...unclear. The only way to put it right now, is that he wants an opportunity. Whether that's to genuinely redeem himself in the eyes of the Charming-Snow-Swan family, or just lull Rumpelstiltskin into a false sense of security remains to be seen.

Crackpot Theories: Hook's not just captaining the ship, he's going to be the guide to Neverland. Rumpel seems to have a passing familiarity with Neverland, and we know Regina knows about it - but David and Mary Margaret are in the dark (Why are they going? How are they supposed to be useful?), and Emma might only know what the rest of us know about Peter Pan, which is never absolute knowledge.

Hook as a love interest for Emma, natch. Especially since we're all comfortably assuming that Neal/Baelfire is dead, which he is NOT. That'll be an interesting love triangle - Daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming at the crux of the pissing contest between the Son of the Dark One and the Pirate Captain who used to be all about the Dark One's ex-wife. JER-RY JER-RY JER-RY!!!

Honestly, it's hard to form a proper crackpot theory around a character who's motivations are so obscured. We've seen him ally himself with literally every character at this point, however disingenuously. He agreed to kill Cora on Regina's behalf, he assisted Mary Margaret and Emma at Cora's behest, He helped Baelfire evade the Lost Boys, he even helped Greg and Tamara trap Regina. Now he's helping Rumpelstiltskin and Company get to Neverland. He seems to be playing a very ADHD endgame. Stay tuned!








** Actually a rat. S2 Ep11

Weekend Speculation

"Your acting all season has been
 more wooden than mine right now."

Well, this is it. The culmination of a bizzare, lackluster season. A season that started with tremendous promise and then seems to have shat the bed.

By Kitsis and Edwards own admission their biggest regret of Season 2 was having August/Pinnochio tasered to death, because wood is historically traditionally scientifically not the greatest conductor of electricity.

Biggest Season Two Regret
Eddy and Adam also took a moment to address a major fan complaint this season: The Tasing of Pinocchio. "Here's the thing, we thought, 'We need a real world weapon.'" In the moments in making that decision we never realized the backlash that would be from a taser," Eddy emphatically said. "We just figured the audience assumed it wasn't a taser ... but they didn't. So I got a lot of history lessons about wood and conducting electricity. If I could go back one season and change one thing, I would have made it a syringe. If she had just taken a [glowing] syringe and shoved it into the dragon, no one would give a sh*t. I am sorry we chose a taser. We are willing to take the hit for the taser. We f*cked up." (http://www.etonline.com/tv/133446_Once_Upon_A_Time_Season_2_Finale_Spoilers/)

So we head into "And Straight On Til Morning" on Sunday. Neal/Baelfire has been shot and gone through the portal into another world. We've gained some insight into Hook and Baelfire's past relationship - that is, that they had a past relationship.

Here's what we know:

• Neal and Emma are Henry's biological parents
• Neal is Baelfire, Rumpelstiltskin's biological son
• Rumplestiltskin believes that Henry will be his undoing, based on the prophecy of the seer.
• Neal and Emma both traveled to other worlds through the Blue Fairy's involvement.
• Rumpelstiltskin says that fairy magic doesn't mix well with what he is
• Emma is inherently magical - The Chosen One, born of true love destined to break the Dark Curse. She hasn't actually broken it yet. 
• Shortly after being sent to A World Without Magic, Baelfire is taken to Neverland.
• In Neverland, you don't age. Hook goes there with the intent of giving himself unlimited time to plot his revenge against Rumpelstiltskin, since The Dark One has "life eternal". (But can apparently be killed by poison. Whatever.)
• Rumpelstiltkin is the "crocodile" responsible for cutting off Hook's hand - and killing his True Love - Milah.
• Milah is Rumpelstiltskin's former wife, and Baelfire's mother.
• There are faries in Neverland, according to Wendy.

Here's what we don't know:

• We don't know why The Shadow is kidnapping boys to Neverland.
• Where Neal is now.
• What happens to Baelfire while he is in Neverland.
• How Baelfire/Neal gets back from Neverland to A World Without Magic.
• What Hook and and Baelfire's relationship is to one another.
• How Henry got his book of Fairy Tales - weren't we promised that this season?

Shady. Bitch.

Is it possible that The Blue Fairy is playing a bigger end game than Rumpel? Both Emma and Neal made it to A Land Without Magic through her involvement. But Baelfire/Neal was born and went through the portal LONG before Emma was conceived or even thought of. So a mysterious magical force, coming from a land which houses mermaids and faries is kidnapping young boys and keeping them in a land where they don't age for reasons unknown. But we know Neal leaves Neverland somehow. In time to meet Emma and father a child. A child who is now being prophesied/assumed to be the undoing of The Dark One.

Rumpelstiltskin's willing to chalk Regina's adoption of Henry up to 'fate'.  I'm not so sure.

I also still think that Bae is the reason that Hook knows about Rumpel's dagger. I can't help but wonder if/when Baelfire finds out that Rumpelstiltskin is actually the person responsible for Milah's death.

I'm not so sure that Baelfire IS Peter Pan. I'll be pleasantly surprised if he's not.

Corrections, Crackpot theories, and other Thursday Filler

Oops!: Found a mistake in my last entry. Greg calls the phone number he sees/finds on Henry's backpack when he comes across a kid suspiciously alone running through the woods. He doesn't necessarily know that he's calling Regina when he attempts to contact Henry's parent.

Crackpot theory: Hook knows about the dagger because of Baelfire.

We know that Bae knew about the dagger. We know that Baelfire went to another land before coming to A Land Without Magic, and because he recognizes Hook, hasn't aged, and knows how to steer a magic pirate ship - we can safely assume this land is Neverland. We know that Hook went to Neverland in order to have enough time to plot his revenge against Rumpelstiltskin - as the Dark One has life eternal. (unless you poison him, apparently - but that is neither here nor there.) Hook returns from Neverland with tales of a weapon that can defeat the Dark One. He doesn't know what the weapon is, or where to find it - but he goes to Belle to find that information. Regina knows all about Hook, and that he's returned from Neverland. So the timeline matches up.

Part of me wants Bae to be one of the Lost Boys - Slightly, or Nibs, or Toodles.  Just to NOT be Peter Pan. Disney still owns the rights to all those names, right? I'm also waiting for Henry to have his "Hook" (The Spielberg movie, not the OUAT character) moment - "Peter Pan's my DAD???" Might be time to get him back into therapy. Then again, the whole REASON he was in therapy was because he thought the people in his life were fairytale characters, and he turned out to be right. So even if he DID wind up back on the couch, he'd be fully justified in being unbearably smug.

Long Shot: Tamara (Neal's Fiancee)  as Tiger Lily? I don't really think this is possible. But because of her unspecified ethnic look, lots of names are being tossed around - Pocahontas, Jasmine, Tiana. Tiger Lily is the only connection to Neverland I can think of. But if he left Neverland, and brought her along, then he wouldn't have been flying solo when he met Emma. Maybe he wasn't, entirely. There's clearly more to learn about this character, and I hope she fares better than other characters of color that we've seen featured on the show.

I will scream if I keep seeing David pull a gun. That's his thing apparently, this season. Seriously, take a drink everytime he pulls a gun. Wasn't this the guy who was volunteering at the animal shelter last season, and now he's Magnum freaking P.I.

Is it bad that I'm more curious about what happened to Maleficent (we never saw a body!) than I am about Philip, Mulan, and Aurora. I just don't care about those three or their wacky adventures.

I still think we're due for a real death this season, and I think it's going to be August. Archie didn't really die, and Cora HAD to die. We're due for a death that's going to upset people. Something about his character just says 'sacrifice' to me. It'll be nice to see him next week.

According to The Mary Sue, there's also now talk of a OUAT spinoff around Wonderland. I don't think it's a great idea, at this point. The show's too young - albeit popular - for a spinoff, and without Sebastian Stan, they really don't have a good connection. I'd rather watch a spinoff around Jack/Jaqueline. She seems like an interesting character - one we didn't get to see enough of, but we know she's a realm-jumper and an adventurer. There's more potential for stories there.