Monday Recap: Heart of the Truest Believer

Spoiler Alert! (because I know you were all watching Breaking Bad last night and forgot that this was on.)

Who did we meet?: Peter Pan! And at least one mermaid.

What did we learn?: A lot! How portals work! Who is in charge of the "home office". That Henry possesses the titular heart. That Rumplestiltskin has history with Peter Pan. That mermaids are worse than sharks, whales, or krakens, and that you can say 'bitch' in primetime.THE IMPORTANCE OF COOPERATION. Maybe the Charming-Snow-Swan family can team up with the Evil Queen and Captain Hook to make a community garden.


When/Where do the events take place?: Present-day Neverland and the Enchanted Forest. 11 years ago in an unspecified hospital.

Why is this important?: Taking Greg/Owen's shadow. Hm. File him under not dead yet.

Oh Henry!: No, we are NOT making smores. *facepalm*

Wait, what?: Aurora tells Bae/Neal that he is in "Our kingdom". Meaning...hers and Philip's? Or hers and Mulan's? OR...hers AND Philip's AND Mulan's? Multi-Ethnic Polyamory Royals! Royals behaving badly! Nah, I'm guessing it's Aurora and Philip's (half decimated) kingdom because she has a new hairdo and some kind of tiaraish crowny headgear. And Aurora has a superpower! ...sleeping. Sleepwalking. Sleep...realm-jumping. Hooray she's being given something to do,  but boo her something kind of sucks. BUT her superpower is still better than Emma's. Womp-womp.

This is probably the kind of thing that will only bother me BUT, in a wink-to-the-fourth wall moment, Mulan asks Bae 'What's a movie?', but when Bae meets Robin Hood, and says he's Rumplestiltskin's son, and Robin takes him at his word. Bae says 'What, you don't want to see ID?'...how is Robin hood familiar with the idiom ID?

Best Line: "It is so much easier to get people to hate something than to believe." - Peter Pan. Truth.com.

Best Line Honorable Mention: "Good thing you guys don't ask questions." - Henry  Bahahahaha! Ok, that was solid. It's not often ever than Henry gets a good line, and this just proves that I hate(d) Greg and Tamara more than I hate Henry.

Really OUAT?: The lights flickering during Henry's "auspicious" birth was totally ripped from Wyatt's birth in Charmed. That 11 years ago flashback was SUPER unnecessary. It did nothing to enhance the story, and it didn't tell us anything we didn't already know.

Overall, I'm maintaining my optimism. Tamara and her nonsense storyline are out of the picture. Things seem to be refocusing on the characters and their relationships. Henry's contributions to the actual episode were few. If last season was the Harry Potter season, this is going to be the 'Lost' season. Our heroes trapped on a malevolent, magical, possibly sentient island? Hm.

It's REALLY interesting that Rumple genuinely seems to fear Pan, and that he's gone sort of lone wolf in going after Henry. In a way, Peter Pan seems to be a bigger threat than Cora.

Weekend Speculation

"Your acting all season has been
 more wooden than mine right now."

Well, this is it. The culmination of a bizzare, lackluster season. A season that started with tremendous promise and then seems to have shat the bed.

By Kitsis and Edwards own admission their biggest regret of Season 2 was having August/Pinnochio tasered to death, because wood is historically traditionally scientifically not the greatest conductor of electricity.

Biggest Season Two Regret
Eddy and Adam also took a moment to address a major fan complaint this season: The Tasing of Pinocchio. "Here's the thing, we thought, 'We need a real world weapon.'" In the moments in making that decision we never realized the backlash that would be from a taser," Eddy emphatically said. "We just figured the audience assumed it wasn't a taser ... but they didn't. So I got a lot of history lessons about wood and conducting electricity. If I could go back one season and change one thing, I would have made it a syringe. If she had just taken a [glowing] syringe and shoved it into the dragon, no one would give a sh*t. I am sorry we chose a taser. We are willing to take the hit for the taser. We f*cked up." (http://www.etonline.com/tv/133446_Once_Upon_A_Time_Season_2_Finale_Spoilers/)

So we head into "And Straight On Til Morning" on Sunday. Neal/Baelfire has been shot and gone through the portal into another world. We've gained some insight into Hook and Baelfire's past relationship - that is, that they had a past relationship.

Here's what we know:

• Neal and Emma are Henry's biological parents
• Neal is Baelfire, Rumpelstiltskin's biological son
• Rumplestiltskin believes that Henry will be his undoing, based on the prophecy of the seer.
• Neal and Emma both traveled to other worlds through the Blue Fairy's involvement.
• Rumpelstiltskin says that fairy magic doesn't mix well with what he is
• Emma is inherently magical - The Chosen One, born of true love destined to break the Dark Curse. She hasn't actually broken it yet. 
• Shortly after being sent to A World Without Magic, Baelfire is taken to Neverland.
• In Neverland, you don't age. Hook goes there with the intent of giving himself unlimited time to plot his revenge against Rumpelstiltskin, since The Dark One has "life eternal". (But can apparently be killed by poison. Whatever.)
• Rumpelstiltkin is the "crocodile" responsible for cutting off Hook's hand - and killing his True Love - Milah.
• Milah is Rumpelstiltskin's former wife, and Baelfire's mother.
• There are faries in Neverland, according to Wendy.

Here's what we don't know:

• We don't know why The Shadow is kidnapping boys to Neverland.
• Where Neal is now.
• What happens to Baelfire while he is in Neverland.
• How Baelfire/Neal gets back from Neverland to A World Without Magic.
• What Hook and and Baelfire's relationship is to one another.
• How Henry got his book of Fairy Tales - weren't we promised that this season?

Shady. Bitch.

Is it possible that The Blue Fairy is playing a bigger end game than Rumpel? Both Emma and Neal made it to A Land Without Magic through her involvement. But Baelfire/Neal was born and went through the portal LONG before Emma was conceived or even thought of. So a mysterious magical force, coming from a land which houses mermaids and faries is kidnapping young boys and keeping them in a land where they don't age for reasons unknown. But we know Neal leaves Neverland somehow. In time to meet Emma and father a child. A child who is now being prophesied/assumed to be the undoing of The Dark One.

Rumpelstiltskin's willing to chalk Regina's adoption of Henry up to 'fate'.  I'm not so sure.

I also still think that Bae is the reason that Hook knows about Rumpel's dagger. I can't help but wonder if/when Baelfire finds out that Rumpelstiltskin is actually the person responsible for Milah's death.

I'm not so sure that Baelfire IS Peter Pan. I'll be pleasantly surprised if he's not.

Corrections, Crackpot theories, and other Thursday Filler

Oops!: Found a mistake in my last entry. Greg calls the phone number he sees/finds on Henry's backpack when he comes across a kid suspiciously alone running through the woods. He doesn't necessarily know that he's calling Regina when he attempts to contact Henry's parent.

Crackpot theory: Hook knows about the dagger because of Baelfire.

We know that Bae knew about the dagger. We know that Baelfire went to another land before coming to A Land Without Magic, and because he recognizes Hook, hasn't aged, and knows how to steer a magic pirate ship - we can safely assume this land is Neverland. We know that Hook went to Neverland in order to have enough time to plot his revenge against Rumpelstiltskin - as the Dark One has life eternal. (unless you poison him, apparently - but that is neither here nor there.) Hook returns from Neverland with tales of a weapon that can defeat the Dark One. He doesn't know what the weapon is, or where to find it - but he goes to Belle to find that information. Regina knows all about Hook, and that he's returned from Neverland. So the timeline matches up.

Part of me wants Bae to be one of the Lost Boys - Slightly, or Nibs, or Toodles.  Just to NOT be Peter Pan. Disney still owns the rights to all those names, right? I'm also waiting for Henry to have his "Hook" (The Spielberg movie, not the OUAT character) moment - "Peter Pan's my DAD???" Might be time to get him back into therapy. Then again, the whole REASON he was in therapy was because he thought the people in his life were fairytale characters, and he turned out to be right. So even if he DID wind up back on the couch, he'd be fully justified in being unbearably smug.

Long Shot: Tamara (Neal's Fiancee)  as Tiger Lily? I don't really think this is possible. But because of her unspecified ethnic look, lots of names are being tossed around - Pocahontas, Jasmine, Tiana. Tiger Lily is the only connection to Neverland I can think of. But if he left Neverland, and brought her along, then he wouldn't have been flying solo when he met Emma. Maybe he wasn't, entirely. There's clearly more to learn about this character, and I hope she fares better than other characters of color that we've seen featured on the show.

I will scream if I keep seeing David pull a gun. That's his thing apparently, this season. Seriously, take a drink everytime he pulls a gun. Wasn't this the guy who was volunteering at the animal shelter last season, and now he's Magnum freaking P.I.

Is it bad that I'm more curious about what happened to Maleficent (we never saw a body!) than I am about Philip, Mulan, and Aurora. I just don't care about those three or their wacky adventures.

I still think we're due for a real death this season, and I think it's going to be August. Archie didn't really die, and Cora HAD to die. We're due for a death that's going to upset people. Something about his character just says 'sacrifice' to me. It'll be nice to see him next week.

According to The Mary Sue, there's also now talk of a OUAT spinoff around Wonderland. I don't think it's a great idea, at this point. The show's too young - albeit popular - for a spinoff, and without Sebastian Stan, they really don't have a good connection. I'd rather watch a spinoff around Jack/Jaqueline. She seems like an interesting character - one we didn't get to see enough of, but we know she's a realm-jumper and an adventurer. There's more potential for stories there.

Sometimes it's not about finding the answers - SPOILERS SWEET BABY JEBUS IN THE MANGER SPOILERS

If you haven't seen Tallahassee yet - WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???

The obvious question is, what's in the box? This is classic Horowitz/Kitsis sleight of hand. They direct all of our attention to the box, make us salivate with curiosity over what could possibly be in the box  that August shows to Neil to make him believe in Emma's grand and glorious destiny as The Savior.

And what's in the box is a mystery, to be sure. An important one. But asking what's in the box is the wrong question.

The question is WHY would Neil have any reason/be predisposed to believe in Fairy Tales? There is arguably, nothing that August would have or could get and could keep in his possession that would persuade any average two-bit hustler person that Fairy Tales are a Real True Thing. August isn't trying to convince Neil that Fairy Tales are real. He doesn't have to - he has to do that with Emma. He has to convince Neil that they both KNOW THE SAME THING.

Charming Rogues

Forgive the metaphor, but while the apple may not fall far from the tree, sometimes it rolls down the hill. For where Snow White found her Prince "I will always find you" Charming...

If you like it then you'd better put a ring on it.

The types of men that Emma seems to attract definitely tend  to have feet of clay. But who's looking at their feet? Beginning with the dashing former Sheriff/Huntsman Graham...

Moment of silence, requiem et en terra pax, etc etc.

And (arguably) moving on to A Not-so-Little Wooden Boy

Could you not look quite so bored, Emma? Some of us are trying to live vicariously. Thanks.

Taking a brief detour via Wonderland....

Yes. This. Times a million.

 

And now trapped in the Enchanted Forest with the epitome of the trope...

You're yummy, but I don't trust you.

there is no doubt that Emma Swan attracts charming rogues.

And sometimes even makes SUPER ANNOYING babies with them.

'So what?' you might ask. Once is, after all, a popular show airing in primetime on a major US network. It's not like they're going to cast unattractive rogues. But go back and look at those pictures again. Notice anything similar?

Go ahead, I'll wait.

Emma's got a type, for sure. A very tasty type. Curly dark hair. Distinctive eyes. Swarthy features. All roughly in their early to mid 30's. These are all features we've seen on someone before. Coincidence?

The question is - does Emma attract the type, or is she attracted TO the type?

Curiouser and curiouser...