Moday Recap! Broken Heart

I have to be honest. I've sort of given up on this show. They're going to make it to their 100 eps and syndication and yay for that, but I don't see any indication that anyone working on it cares for this project. And it makes me sad, because I really want to like it. I do! But it just reeks to high heaven of a corporate smash and grab, and while I can appreciate that Disney is in the money-making business, I don't believe that quality product and profitability are mutually exclusive. There are just so many things about it that are just lazy, and sloppy and I've come to expect a lot more from television  and the fantasy genre to be able to get excited for OUAT anymore. Read Fables - you won't be sorry.

I haven't written in over a year, and I haven't been watching regularly, so Broken Heart brings me into the middle of a "storyline" insofar as Things Are Happening, nevermind whether or not they make any sense. BUT. I have wonderful friends who have great faith in me to either unravel this Gideonic Knot or at least shame-sass it in twain, so here we are! I've got some stability in my life again, so I'm going to pick up this project again and not beat myself up too much for letting it slide for as long as I did. Spoilers ahoy!

Who did we meet: Looks like we've met all the new folks we're likely to meet for this installment of the season, with the possible exception of some denizens of the underworld? The Camelotians, Merlin, Nimue, and "Baby Hood".

When/Where did the events take place?: I'm going to sidestep this one because there was a LOT of jumping in the timeline, who remembered what when, and I've been MIA for the last few episodes, so I'm not going to snark at it until I understand it a little better.

That being said, I kind of....like what's being done with Hook's motivations? I don't trust this feeling entirely, because all precedent says they'll cock it up. And it's already wildly inconsistent - does being the Dark One mean that your own dark desires come to the fore, or does it make you a vessel for the Forces of Darkness (tm)? In defter hands, it could be both - or it could fluctuate depending on personality factors, but I have just learned not to trust this show for consistency or skillful storytelling.

Shiny Objects: Excalibur! How many names can we fit on that thing?? And Merlin's ashes, I guess?

Oh Henry!: I guess we can use Henry more now that he's a pseudo-adult and Snow and Charming have another child to ignore. Storybrooke desperately needs a Child Protective Services Department. and on that note...

Really, OUAT?: Where the hell is everyone in this town? I wouldn't blame them in the slightest if all of Storybrooke had Quite Enough Of This Shit and hightailed it over the town line and took their chances with amnesia or turning to stone or trees or whatever, but...where are the people who seemed to be doing well? Or, failing that - where is Robin's merry band and the Camping Camelotians, despite the fact that there are apparently dozens of empty lovely homes that no one who lived in
Storybrooke (Ashley, Archie, Granny, Red, the Dwarves, The fairy-nuns...) bothered to occupy before.

Wait, what?: "There are many texts that can help us" - Rumpel/Gold re: The Dark One Chronicles, which A. needs to be a spinoff or book series IMMEDIATELY. and B. Belle our resident "bookworm", didn't know about this and/or have an encyclopedic knowledge of its contents?!?!!? These books have been sitting in the Storybrooke Library for HOW many years and no one's been pouring over them in an attempt to defeat/contain/banish the dark one? See, this is what happens when your squad is all Gryffindor.

Hook doesn't really want revenge, he's acting in the interests of all the Dark Forces to open the gates of Hell and snuff out the light. So we're heading for some kind of massive Good/Evil showdown with a possible sacrificial death.  So ....is Hook in control of his actions or not? Is Emma in control of her actions or not? Can she please stop trying to do a bad imitation of Christian Bale in The Dark Knight in any case?