Da Rules

"I have granted 1001 wishes, and I have seen them end badly 1001 times"  - The Genie

Rule 1. All magic comes with a price. We hear this frequently, from Rumpelstiltskin. He seems to have an acute awareness of the cost of magic, and he's also very prone to twisting words to suit his purposes. This seems to be the one statement that is true to his character - whether Rumpel or Gold. He's a powerful and calculating individual. This is just a way of saying that all actions have consequences - often beyond what we can perceive.

Rule 2. Any curse can be broken. We've seen two curses activated - The Dark Curse and the Sleeping Curse. The other magic we've seen work as a curse is Midas' Golden Touch. Which isn't, strictly speaking, a curse. If we take almost any version of Midas's story as true, he *wished* for the golden touch - it just backfired.

Rule 3. True Love is the strongest magic/Any curse can be broken by True Love's Kiss. This is the one we've seen fail most egregiously. Rememeber Fredrich? Also, True Love does not need to be Romantic Love - it just makes for better TV.

Mon...Tuesday...Oh jeez - WEDNESDAY FREAKING RECAP. Queen of Hearts. SPOILERS (that are probably not spoilers anymore because you've seen it)

WHO did we meet: The Queen of Hearts! Not so much a 'meet' as a confirm-and-reveal, but there it is.

WHAT did we learn: How Cora and Hook met! Through Regina. Through Belle. Who he was looking for as a way of finding a weapon to kill Rumpelstiltskin...which he learned about, how? Also portals! Portals have now been used successfully travel to and from Storybrooke/Enchanted Forest. And we know that there's an Enchanted Forest to return TO. There is a land where magic is in all things and follows predictable rules. That's got to appeal to someone.

WHEN and WHERE do the actions take place: Present Day Storybrook, Pre-Dark Curse Enchanted Forest, Pre-DC Wonderland, Present Day Enchanted Forest.

WHY does this matter: ...the compass? It was the goal of like a 5 episode arc. I would think  it'd have more of a purpose than hang the eff on and jump into the water. Also, apparently it's not necessary to steer a pirate ship. Through realms. That were opened  by an INSTANTLY RESUSCITATED BEAN FROM CONVENIENTLY DRILLED MAGIC WATER. /rant

Remaining Problems: Oh poor Regina. Someone in the royal family needs to teach Henry some courtly manners - INVITE THE WOMAN TO DINNER. She went against all sense and at the very least her own interests and did (what appeared to be) a Very Risky Thing all because Henry tossed a schmaltzy line at her. Perhaps Regina needs more time on the couch with Archie. Oh and Hook and Cora are in Storybrooke. ISSUES.

Best Line:Yeah, I came up empty on this one. Suggestions?

Wait, What?: How does Regina know who Hook is, where he's from, and what he's after? And Regina knows how to kill Rumpelstiltskin?? And Regina has Jefferson's Hat??? When did Regina become the one holding all the magical cards? And when did Regina even have the chance to tell Rumpel that Cora was dead? (Dammit I'm going to have to go back and watch Season 1...)

Hey remember that guy...?: August? Neil? Jefferson? King George? Dr. Whale? Bueller?

Are you still here?: Aurora and Mulan. And while we're at it - Henry. You can all just...go.

Look who got a bigger budget!: Wardrobe! Specifically Regina's. But yikes, that high-collared black number when she was saying goodbye to Cora was a tad much. Elton John is going to be upset when he finds out you borrowed his formal cape without asking....and without borrowing the matching boots and piano.

Don't Trust: The Blue Fairy. I'm going to keep beating the drum on this shady bitch. We haven't seen her in awhile. And she is going to be fit to be tied when she finds out that the magic diamond crystals are gone.

Really OUAT?: Cora's just going to put a dome (Simpsons did it) over a whole swath of Enchanted Forest protecting it from the Dark Curse with a simple 'You Shall Not Pass' with her staff? Maybe Rumpel should be worried.

Strange Coincidence: In the SAME episode we see two unsuccessful attempts to steal a heart. Cora's heart can't be stolen/ripped (at least not by usual means), and neither can Emma's.

Educated Guesses: We're going to have to figure out where Cora's horcrux heart is to defeat her. This is problematic by itself, compounded by the fact that we know she's jumped through at LEAST three realms now.

Crackpot Theories: It's hard to form any around this episode. A lot of loose-ish ends got tied up for Winter Break. There's no reason for the Charming-Snow-Swan family to even get involved in this impending battle. Hook is after Rumpel and Cora is after (?) Regina. They could, theoretically, ditch Storybrooke for the Enchanted Forest. They won't, of course...and I'm sure at some point in 2013 they'll wonder why they didn't bail when they had the chance.

Sometimes it's not about finding the answers - SPOILERS SWEET BABY JEBUS IN THE MANGER SPOILERS

If you haven't seen Tallahassee yet - WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???

The obvious question is, what's in the box? This is classic Horowitz/Kitsis sleight of hand. They direct all of our attention to the box, make us salivate with curiosity over what could possibly be in the box  that August shows to Neil to make him believe in Emma's grand and glorious destiny as The Savior.

And what's in the box is a mystery, to be sure. An important one. But asking what's in the box is the wrong question.

The question is WHY would Neil have any reason/be predisposed to believe in Fairy Tales? There is arguably, nothing that August would have or could get and could keep in his possession that would persuade any average two-bit hustler person that Fairy Tales are a Real True Thing. August isn't trying to convince Neil that Fairy Tales are real. He doesn't have to - he has to do that with Emma. He has to convince Neil that they both KNOW THE SAME THING.

Monday Recap - Into The Deep SPOILERS

I started this entry the day after Into The Deep aired, but I am finishing it after Queen of Hearts has aired. So...deal with it. There was a LOT happening in this episode!
 
WHO did we meet: No one new - but lots of allusions to who we might meet. It's interesting to remember that Neverland is the home to mermaids and faries, as well as pirates and lost boys.

WHAT did we learn: Oh boy. A lot. A whole lot. And somehow not enough. With the hearts in her posession, Cora can control those whose hearts she's taken - more so even than we've seen Regina do. (Although the only person we've seen Regina control is Graham, and I don't want to think about when and why she'd have to take his heart out of the vault to make him say what she wanted to hear. Squick.) The magic ink, and the possible promise of a mermaid in our future...or past? Gold says that he has a "private supply", not a stockpile - which seems to imply that he's got a supplier? In other words, he can still get Magic Squid Ink.  Maybe not significant, but Gold can use his magic to put people to sleep and heal.

WHERE and WHEN did the events take place: All the events in this episode take place in the present. Storybrooke, Enchanted Forest, Cora's Lair, The Burning Room

WHY does this matter: Hook taunts Cora, daring her to kill him.But she doesn't. Why? She doesn't especially seem to need him. Maybe it's just fun to see evil team up. Also, even though the Burning  Room exists on some kind of metaphysical plane, you can wake up with actual burns?

Remaining Problems: SO MANY PROBLEMS. Aurora is a puppet-spy! Emma and Mary Margaret are still trapped in the Enchanted  Forest! David is under the sleeping curse! Everyone in Storybrooke is about to have a raging case of PTSD.

Best Line: "Condiments are this world's most powerful magic." - Mr. Gold. Dark One humor...I guess.

Really OUAT?: So...Snow White can just speak bird? Why not just send messages via owl, since we're already using Inferi and Dementors this season.

Educated Guesses: The 'Cora-is-The-Queen-of-Hearts' theory will play out. All the clues are there. I'll be shocked if she isn't.

Strange Coincidence: Cora says to Aurora that when a soul is taken by a Dementor wraith, it travels to another realm. ...just like with the Burning Room and the Sleeping Curse?

Don't Trust: Cora, Aurora, Hook, Gold, Regina, Mulan. Yes, Mulan. She's so rigid in her interpretation of beliefs. In her own upstanding way, she's no different than any of the 'villains'. At the first opportunity she stole the compass and ran. She's hellbent on saving/protecting Aurora. Lucky for Aurora because up until all this Sleeping Curse/Burning Room nonsense she has been USELESS.

Crackpot Theories: None specific to this episode (surprisingly!), but I REALLY want to know what the history is between Cora and Rumpelstiltskin. The exchange between Regina and Gold about Cora is LOADED and FASCINATING. Apparently Cora is the one person who can "unite" the two of them, Gold thought that she was dead, but Regina says that he (Gold) "taught her well". We know that the Dark One's powers render the bearer immortal. So is Cora immortal? Regina seems to think that Cora's return is bad news for the both of them, Gold seems confident that he is more powerful than Cora...or at least that he can "handle" her, and that he "won in the end".  There's some significant history there. Not too crackpot, but it seems like Cora is a very good candidate for the miller's daughter in the Rumpelstiltskin fairy tale

So overdue. So many questions. Spoilers

I'm way behind on my monday recaps, but now I have all the weeks to catch up on that plus more OUAT speculation. But just two quick - 'Wait, what?' moments from The Queen of Hearts episode

1. Why did the compass matter?

2. Hook goes to where Belle is being kept in Regina's prison with the hope that she knows how to get to the weapon that will defeat Rumplestiltskin.He feeds her what is possibly a cock-and-bull story about her father's life being in danger. Hook grills Belle about a magical weapon that has the power to kill Rumplestiltksin. He doesn't know what the weapon is, or where to find it. But how does he even know such a weapon exists? We've now seen TWO swarthy, charming rogues going after this weapon. On whose orders.

Shady bitch.

Charming Rogues

Forgive the metaphor, but while the apple may not fall far from the tree, sometimes it rolls down the hill. For where Snow White found her Prince "I will always find you" Charming...

If you like it then you'd better put a ring on it.

The types of men that Emma seems to attract definitely tend  to have feet of clay. But who's looking at their feet? Beginning with the dashing former Sheriff/Huntsman Graham...

Moment of silence, requiem et en terra pax, etc etc.

And (arguably) moving on to A Not-so-Little Wooden Boy

Could you not look quite so bored, Emma? Some of us are trying to live vicariously. Thanks.

Taking a brief detour via Wonderland....

Yes. This. Times a million.

 

And now trapped in the Enchanted Forest with the epitome of the trope...

You're yummy, but I don't trust you.

there is no doubt that Emma Swan attracts charming rogues.

And sometimes even makes SUPER ANNOYING babies with them.

'So what?' you might ask. Once is, after all, a popular show airing in primetime on a major US network. It's not like they're going to cast unattractive rogues. But go back and look at those pictures again. Notice anything similar?

Go ahead, I'll wait.

Emma's got a type, for sure. A very tasty type. Curly dark hair. Distinctive eyes. Swarthy features. All roughly in their early to mid 30's. These are all features we've seen on someone before. Coincidence?

The question is - does Emma attract the type, or is she attracted TO the type?

Curiouser and curiouser...

Magic wands

If a hat without magic is just a hat - then it follows that a wand without magic is just a stick.

Now that magic has been found in Storybrooke, does this mean that the fairy-nuns are going to use rulers?