You remind me of the babe.
The babe with the power...
Who did we meet: We didn't technically meet* anyone new (Nice to see you again Tink, Blue, Walsh) but were there a lot of Storybrooke randos in this episode? There was one Rider Strong wannabe just lurking about at Neal's funeral and then followed our mournful little gang to Granny's along with an inexplicable elderly couple. I like to think the gangly youth was a former lost boy (REMEMBER WE BROUGHT THEM ALL BACK WITH US FROM NEVERLAND AND PROMISED TO FIND THEM FAMILIES?? Way to abandon a bunch of kids with existing abandonment issues Emma. Good looking out.) who joined up with the Merry Men. Can't explain the septuagenarians. Any suggestions?
*Zelena's unnamed adoptive parents. I feel like you need a name to "meet" a character.
When/Where did the events take place?: Enchanted Forest - Pre-Dark Curse, Post Rumple's Aquisition of Dark Powers. Storybrooke Present Day. Oz...mumblemumble years ago. How old IS Regina? She has to be older than Snow White, because up until the Dark Curse was cast, they were aging at the same rate. So...38? 40? 42? Which would make Zelena...a year older? Two? There is clearly some bomb-ass moisturizer happening in the EF. Enchanted Botox? Magic!
What did we learn?: Zelena IS indeed Regina's older sister. Unless "The Wizard" was lying.
Why is this important?: Was Walsh-the-Wizard (Seriously dude, first name or last name? Both?) trying to get Zelena to take out...Cora? Regina? Rumpel?...or just to steal their stuff? Cause he's packing some not insubstantial magic of his own with the enchanted floor tiles and the magical shoes. What's his reasoning for telling Zelena about her past - whether it's the truth or a lie?
Wait, what?: Is he The Wizard of Oz, as in - the LAND is named OZ - or is he Oz the Great and Terrible/Powerful? Both? Someone needs to settle this for me.
Oh Henry!: Cool Teen Henry man. I am SO ON BOARD. It's like even REGINA'S given up on parenting at this point. He's like a chia pet. Give him some
Shut Up Charming-and/or-Snow: Hey Derp-for-brains. Was it smart to bring your extremely preggo wife/self to a magical beatdown? Couldn't you both have just stayed the eff home? They have Netflix in Storybrooke, right?
Really OUAT?: TIME TRAVEL? We're doing this? For realsies? Welp, buckle your retconning seatbelts everyone, because this is going to shake the shit out all your colons.
Rando Thoughts/Unanswered Questions:
It's nice that Hook's everyday leather is funeral appropriate.
Has Zelena kind of tipped her hand? They know what she's after. She's not going to be able to get near Snow's bun-filled oven, and Regina has hidden her heart. As long as Zels has the dagger, does it even matter? She's basically strolling around a quaint New England town with the magical equivalent of a nuclear warhead.
Aw, Regina gave Robin Hood her heart. Also, ick. I understand you are characters from literature, but don't be so danged literal Regina! Does basic biology not have a place in Storybrooke? Obviously not, because magic>science. Sorry Dr. Frankenstein! Also, I was wrong about the heart! She went for Regina's! Because apparently you need brains, heart, and courage for time travel. #DoctorWhoCrossover
Again, I thought this dagger was supposed to be a big old honking secret. Didn't S1 Rumpel straight up murder his mute servant because she maybe might have overheard Rumpel discussing it with Bae? Now it's just common effing knowledge, because Zelena - who grew up in an entirely different REALM - knew about it's existence, how to get it, and how to use it.
WTF is going on in the EF that Rumpel is such a damn catch? Cora. Zelena. Belle. The man is up to his scaly hairline in willing tail! Is power THAT big of an aphrodisiac? Even if it is, the whole place is lousy with princes and kings of unspecified lands. You'd think King George would have taken a second wife if power were that big a thrill, and gone about producing an heir the old fashioned way instead of buying babies on the black market.
I really hope Dr. Whale is working on a flying monkey antidote, and not just chasing after fairy-nuns in Tex Avery fashion. The Dwarves seem HIGHLY unconcerned about their missing bretheren. They are still missing, right?
If Zelena turned the erstwhile Wizard into a flying monkey, then how does the Dorothy Gale story play out? Does Zels turn Walsh human when she needs him to...oh god, just remembered Regina's relationship with Graham and got severely icked out with what ELSE Zelena might be using Walsh for. #prehensiletailpossibilities
Regina slapped Zelena hard enough to draw blood, but NOT hard enough to knock her hat off or even a little bit askew. Magic! Or bobby pins? Only her monkey stylist knows for sure, and he's not telling.
Where's Glinda? Cause we've totes seen this here-are-some-boss-shoes-now-go-take-out-my-competition gambit before.
Why were Zelena's parents on the road to the Emerald City?
Man, I wish that the Wizard had been Jefferson making a bid for power.
This was actually a nice subtle re-frame of Regina, and arguably Cora, as being born inherently magical, rather than as an adept student of magic. Up until now, Emma was the only human that we knew was born with some innate magic.
Crackpot Theories:
Can the Blue Fairy just reveal her evil puppetmaster plan already? Damn. I've been beating this drum for nearly three seasons, and my arms are getting tired.
It's gonna get bad,
Yeah,it's gonna get worse...
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