Charming Rogues

Forgive the metaphor, but while the apple may not fall far from the tree, sometimes it rolls down the hill. For where Snow White found her Prince "I will always find you" Charming...

If you like it then you'd better put a ring on it.

The types of men that Emma seems to attract definitely tend  to have feet of clay. But who's looking at their feet? Beginning with the dashing former Sheriff/Huntsman Graham...

Moment of silence, requiem et en terra pax, etc etc.

And (arguably) moving on to A Not-so-Little Wooden Boy

Could you not look quite so bored, Emma? Some of us are trying to live vicariously. Thanks.

Taking a brief detour via Wonderland....

Yes. This. Times a million.

 

And now trapped in the Enchanted Forest with the epitome of the trope...

You're yummy, but I don't trust you.

there is no doubt that Emma Swan attracts charming rogues.

And sometimes even makes SUPER ANNOYING babies with them.

'So what?' you might ask. Once is, after all, a popular show airing in primetime on a major US network. It's not like they're going to cast unattractive rogues. But go back and look at those pictures again. Notice anything similar?

Go ahead, I'll wait.

Emma's got a type, for sure. A very tasty type. Curly dark hair. Distinctive eyes. Swarthy features. All roughly in their early to mid 30's. These are all features we've seen on someone before. Coincidence?

The question is - does Emma attract the type, or is she attracted TO the type?

Curiouser and curiouser...

Magic wands

If a hat without magic is just a hat - then it follows that a wand without magic is just a stick.

Now that magic has been found in Storybrooke, does this mean that the fairy-nuns are going to use rulers?

Monday Recap - Child of the moon SPOILERS

WHO did we meet: Billy/Gus, Anita, Quinn...and look how well that worked out.

WHAT did we learn: Ruby still transforms, and she can control herself when she does. But we sort of knew that. When Snow attacks the castle trying to save Charming, Red is there as a scout/weapon.

WHERE did we go/When did the events take place: Nowhere new - Present Day Storybrooke and the Enchanted Forest before the castle was taken back by Charming and Snow, before Regina cast the Dark Curse.

WHY does this matter: Ruby/Red's whole backstory. Why does it matter? We know that Ruby has some wolf-tendancies while human (heightened senses, tracking) and we didn't need a whole episode to learn that she transforms.

Remaining Problems: Granny's a wolf, but doesn't turn. She "took" Red away from her mother. IS Anita Granny's daughter/daughter in law? Where's Red's father? Does it matter? Do we care?

Best Line: "Once one controls something, one no longer need fear it" - Rumplestiltskin  Wow. Talk about your loaded lines. So who's controlling whom?

Best Line Runner-Up: "You have wolf hearing too?" "It's not all it's cracked up to be. Especially in a hotel." - Belle and Granny. Hahahaha! Gross.

Really OUAT?: You introduce/reveal THREE new characters, and kill them ALL? Bad form. Also, Ruby is AWFULLY ready to go out and be decimated by an angry mob. Self-hating werewolf. Why don't more people in town seek therapy? I miss Archie.

Educated Guesses: With the incineration of the remains of Jefferson's Hat, one avenue of travel is closed. Maybe. Unless we can use the ashes of those too. But as Jefferson says, a hat without magic is only a hat. They still have the magic. The hat might not actually matter.

Well THAT didn't take long: The burning room! I didn't think we'd see it quite so soon.

Don't Trust: Spencer/King George. Obviously. Now that he's been outed as someone with a grudge against David - so the turn-the-town-against-him gambit probably won't work again. Now he's a man with truly nothing left to lose, he's arguably more dangerous.

Crackpot Theory: This actually isn't so crackpot - I think George is going to try and take Henry. If he does, he's going to stoke the ire of Regina, and possibly Gold as well - who seems to have a strange, unexplained fondness for Henry. It could be that Henry reminds him of Baelfire - but I think there's more to it than that.

Monday Recap - Tallahassee SPOILERS

Trying to give myself a comprehensive recap format. Let me know what you think!

WHO did we meet: Neil Cassidy, The Last Giant

WHAT did we learn/do we know: A lot! We learned the identity of our Mystery Man from the premiere. We can safely assume that Neil is Henry's father.(It is never safe to assume ANYTHING.) We learn how long August has been tracking Emma, albeit with a very well funded vacation somewhere in between. We can see more of the fact that Hook is one of the few characters we've seen who actually seems fairly knowledgable about realm-jumping. The others are Jefferson (who seems to understand the rules that govern his hat), Rumplestiltskin (who has a compelling reason to learn all he can about realm jumping, but can't seem to do it himself?), and The Blue Fairy (who seems to have some knowledge of ways and means - but, like Rumplestiltskin, can't seem to manage it with her own magic.).

WHERE did we go: Enchanted Forest, Up the Beanstalk, Storybrooke, Portland, OR

WHEN did the events take place: Present Day, 11 years ago

WHY does this matter: Tallahassee. Title of the episode, and yet it's someplace we never go. We know Emma spent two years there. We have an idea why. We also know that Mr. Gold orchestrated Regina's adoption of Henry, and we can assume Emma went there after giving birth/getting out of jail.

Connections: Henry and Aurora had the same dream? Both were recently affected by/awakened from the Sleeping Curse.

 Remaining Questions: The big questions are obvious - what did August show to Neil to get him to listen, and what's up with the dream? Smaller question - why didn't August just go to Emma once he had found her? I would think it'd be easier to convince an 18 year old drifter/thief that she's got an epic destiny than a 28 year old cynical bounty-hunter. Is Neil Cassady's name an homage or a clue?

Best line: "The victors get to tell the story" - The Last Giant. I think this is an important sentiment, and something I've been harping on since last season. Why are they called Fairy Tales anyway??

Really OUAT?: We couldn't do something to modify Jorge Garcia's voice to make it sound more...menacing? Giantlike? Supernatural?

Educated Guesses: We will see this windowless, doorless room with the bloodred curtains on fire later in the season.

Don't trust: Hook. Clearly we're setting up some romantic conflict here, but I don't trust him. He may believe in "good form", but he's an opportunist. And I think we're missing something important in the fact that Hook and Smee have been separated. Regardless of what Smee was after, I doubt Hook would have let him live (and become first mate!) if he hadn't seem that Smee would be useful. So somewhere between Neverland/The Enchanted Forest/Storybrook, the ONLY pirate (besides Milah) that Hook had use for somehow wound up in Storybrooke, which is exactly where he's trying to get to now?  Doubt that's a coincident. However honorable the captain may be deep down, I think his only real motivation right now is revenge.

Crackpot Theory: I think we're due for a sacrifice this season, and I think August is going to be it. Last we saw him (in the present day), he was alive, but had turned back into wood. The same wood, if you remember that was enchanted and fashioned into a wardrobe that functioned as a portal. The same wood whose ASHES are currently believed to be able to still transport between realms. In this episode, we're "introduced" to August, who has been trying to be a good boy - looking for Emma, destiny, etc. But still can't resist temptation - takes off for Phuket with a WAD OF CASH. This is a constant with August. A fallible human being who has serious consequences when he gives in to temptation. Characters like that always seem to wind up being lambs to the slaughter. I suspect present-day August has sought out the Blue Fairy (shady bitch) to entreat her to turn him back into a real boy. Without wands or dust, she has no way to channel the magic, and I think she'll leave him to suffer his wooden fate. I think August will wind up sacrificing himself as a form of redemption.