It's just not mid-season without a Return to Storybrook Reunion! Hey gang, let's go to
Who did we meet?: Medusa...I guess? I have issues with this. Medusa is a Gorgon. They *could* have just gone Gorgon-hunting for their own EF specific gorgon. They could have worked in the story of Medusa (and Perseus) for framing/exposition/context, and had the same message. Interestingly, in many Greek interpretations, Medusa is the ONLY gorgon that isn't immortal, which is why Perseus is able to defeat her. I feel like Monster Hunting Belle would have been a better choice for this action. There's always someone who can benefit from a 'don't be self-defeating' message. Somehow, this story was trying to draw a parallel between Snow and Emma and it just didn't work. Self defeating indeed OUAT.
Where and When did the events take place: Enchanted Forest AFTER Snow and Charming are married(Wow, she calls him "Charming" through most of their courtship and early marriage. Does she even KNOW he isn't actually James?) but before the Dark Curse is cast. Modern Day Storybrook.
Why is this important?: I'm with Tinkerbell - why would the shadow kill The Blue Fairy? In order to achieve his goal of freaking out the town enough for Regina to secure him in the vault, Pan could have had the shadow kill literally anyone. It's the appearance of the shadow that gets him what he wants, not the "death" of the Blue Fairy.
I have real doubts about this shadow ripping thing. We've seen a few characters now who have had their shadows separated from their bodies. The "rules" for this are fast and loose. As far as I'm concerned, no one's dead until we see a body - and even then, with magic in effect, I'm skeptical. It's more than possible that I'm just being stubborn, but I think it is worth remembering that the creature we keep referring to as 'Pan's Shadow' is not actually HIS shadow. It's...just a dark spirit. Maybe the spirit of Neverland? I'm not prepared to write The Blue Fairy off as dead yet. Heck I'm still not convinced that Greg/Owen is dead! Consider that Rumpel cuts his own shadow loose (where IS that dagger, BTW?) with no ill-seeming effects. Pan controls John and Michael by taking possession of THEIR shadows, and other than slowing their aging process (is that how this works?) they seem to retain their relative agency. Pan and Henry have SWAPPED shadows, and both are still conscious and walking around. So this is potentially 5 characters walking around mostly unharmed to two that we're counting as 'dead'. I think the shadow ripping is a way of taking a character out of play while still leaving the door open for them to return in present-day.
Wait, what?: Hook, were you NOT bitching a few episodes back about how hard it is to love again and now you're trying to get Tinkerbell drunk for some rebound Pixie secks? Even more recently, didn't you say you were "in this for the long haul" to Neal. "This" meaning your fruitless pursuit of Emma that you're going to call True Love based on one sort of hot-but-blackmailey kiss? The "this" that you immediately sort of skeevishly toss in Emma's face when she asks what you and Tink are up to, and you sort of leer and make your gross intentions known? Did anyone else feel like this is a path that Hook and Tink have trod before? #TeamTink for calling him out on his sorry-ass game, but it does sort of feel like an "Fool me once shame on you, Fool me twice..." moment.
Oh Henry!: How old are you, exactly? Cause you look 14, but in the chronology of the show you're...11/12. Fine. Do 12 year olds have bedtimes? Even if they do, do they still get tucked in? Are we just going to refuse to acknowledge that Henry is ACTUALLY growing up? According to Regina she's been soothing his nightmares for 10 years. And hooray for non conforming and rejecting gender norms, but that lamp was a little...um, unheroic. Henry always struck me as more of a 'knights and lances' kid than rainbows and unicorns. And Regina's CERTAINLY not the hearts and flowers type. So that lamp (That Henry-Pan looks at and the camera focuses on, and is the only source of light in the room) feels really out of place.
Really
Riddle me this. If there were an abandoned castle full of weapons, and lets assume provisions as well, why would you NOT attempt to take back the kingdom from THERE? It's possible I'm forgetting something - pretty sure Regina had taken up residence in the Summer Castle for awhile. But knowing there are several (!) malevolent forces that would happily remove you and the erstwhile shepard from your newly aquired thrones, wouldn't you think to have someone HOLD THE CASTLE for you? You have SEVEN dwarves as your queensguard - can't you place three of them (and maybe a werewolf and her crossbow toting granny) and use the place as a B&B.
So you decide you want to spend your honeymoon in a moderately-to-heavily fortified but uninhabited castle in the winter, (clearly those were enchanted dropcloths protecting that expensive weaponry) designed for summer dwelling, within walking distance of an ancient immortal monster. Smart.
Snow and Charming are the least quiet assassins ever. Also, Snow White you're noble, but dumb as a box of rocks. Let's allow for the possibility that you die going after an "immortal" monster that can turn flesh to stone. WHO'S GOING TO RULE THE KINGDOM IF YOU DIE? You're really just awful at this queencraft thing. But OH HEY YOU GUYS SHE USED THE PERSEUS MIRROR TRICK. Didn't see that coming At. All.
Oh and that line Grumpy fed you about "Thin masonry"? Girl he is STALKING YOUR ASS. Watch yourself.
Happy ...Endings?
1. "It's time for the Darlings to go home." To...London? Seriously, are John and Michael masquerading as a gay couple, and are they going to continue this masquerade with Wendy as their adopted daughter? Because, if so, they are going to need so much Skype time with Dr. Hopper.
2. "Ariel." "Eric." YOU'VE FOUND EACH OTHER NOW KISS END OF STORY. I feel a little bit bad that Ariel's happy ending was sort of flung at her in a 'ohyeahhereyougo' manner, but then, her and Eric's whole 3. An elixir. Just like that. With time for a wardrobe change! Dreamshade CURED FOREVER. It almost makes me miss the days when True Love's Kiss solved everything. (Except the things it didn't.)
Subtext Theatre!
Belle: "So...What now?" (hint hint) "You can start thinking about your future." (hint hint) "There are countless paths you could take." (BITCH WHERE IS MY RING?)
Blue Fairy: "I know [that her name is Tinkerbell]. I just didn't think-" (I didn't think You People would honestly expect me to address you by those 'names' outside of Green History Month.) "In case you forgot, I don't take orders from you." (See You Next Tuesday Madame "Mayor". *snap*)
Snow "Procreation Makes Me Hot" White: "I want to start a family." (BABIES. Babies babies. Chop chop. Let's see that babymaker!)
Prince "Delayed Gratification" Charming: "So do I." (Let's start now. Regina DID tell you where babies come from, right?)
Snow: "We can't wait anymore. We have to start our family now." (BabiesBabiesBabies) "What better way to make a good moment with a child?" (BABIES!!! BAYBEESE!!! RAAAARGHHH PUT BABY IN BELLY!!!)
Charming: "Then a child we shall have." (So, you mean we're really going to do this and not just make out with our clothes on? Oh boy. Give me a minute. That's just...that's a lot of pressure, you know?)
Emma: "You're great parents" (Well, you're parents anyway. I don't really have a frame of reference for GREAT parents do I? Let's think about why that is...)
Regina: "Magic isn't the answer." (Except for when I use it. G'night!)
Reality Check Revue!
The Lady Swan? As in...Elizabeth Swan? First - wrong movie, and Second - JESUS HOOK IT WAS ONE KISS LET IT GO. Also, a little real talk. Neal is Henry's biological father. And with Graham dead (RIP) and Sidney still in the nuthouse (IS he still in there? Someone should really let him out.), he's the only father figure
Random Thoughts: I do kind of like Emma and David having little moments of honesty and understanding. It's good that he knows his (dingaling) wife well enough to know that she's being a little nuts about this Neal thing. Charming speaking sense - we're responsible for our own happiness. Life being about moments. It's not something that happens often, so we'll let him have this one. But a Charming-strong ep of OUAT is like a Meg-ep of Family Guy. #ShutUpMeg
Felix was in jail and Henry-Pan just...let him out, (Is this Storybrook or Mayberry?) but where are the other Lost Boys? I like to think they're just roaming the obviously chilly streets of Storybrooke, because NO one was in any kind of hurry to take them in. Maybe they should have an adoption day at Petco.
Remaining Questions/Crackpot Theories: So what does the Dark Curse need? The last time we saw Regina attempt the curse, she needed a hair from those with the darkest souls (let's assume we're going to ignore that ingredient list because our likelyhood of getting Karl Rove and Kim Jung Un to guest star is low) and the heart of the thing you love the most. This is the one that actually matters. Regina sacrificed her horse and then her father in the name of this curse. This is the kind of curse that requires a sacrifice. The way I see it, there are two...maybe three, hearts Pan can use. He can use Henry's, which is problematic as he's currently inhabiting Henry's body and needs that heart to, y'know, live. The second option...the interesting choice...is using Rumpelstiltskin's. If he's effectively able to cast the curse w/Rumpel's heart, then...he loves his son. He loved him all along, even if he couldn't/wouldn't be any kind of a decent father to him. This could also be the means through which the prophecy is fulfilled. The third maybe-option is to use Pan-on-the-outside-Henry-on-the-inside. It's still physically Pan's heart, so it could be an act of EXTREME narcissism to use that heart, but it might also take out Henry.
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