Monday Recap: Good Form - Spoilers Ahoy!

 Belay that ahoy there! Shipshape! Sailor Talk! Holy Hook in a Hairbow!

Yowza.

I'm starting to have some doubts about this season. It's really starting to meander. We all knew that a Captain/Swan hook up (ha!) was coming, and while that kiss was worth the price of admission - Emma's relationships all feel really forced to me. I don't know...maybe it's me. But I really do buy her as a consummate survivor with a LOT of trust issues, and I don't see those walls come down enough to buy her with any of the guys we've seen her paired with yet.
 
Who did we meet?: Captain Liam Jones (RIP), and a lost boy who is NOT Felix.

When and where did the events take place?: Present Day Neverland, unspecified past in an as yet unspecified kingdom. We STILL have not been to Storybrooke.

What did we learn?: Dreamshade has an antidote, and the antidote has a pretty major catch.
Also, Hook's backstory! It was interesting, if a leeeetle hamfisted. We *know* that Hook Killian becomes a pirate. He didn't really need the Norma Rae moment with AAAAALL the exposition. Although Colin O'Donohue played it well. I think the guys on that ship were just happy to have a reason to lose all that fussy gear.

Why does this matter?: Maybe the better question is DOES this matter, but this King that Killian and Liam are in the employ of, who knows not just of Neverland's existance, but of a virulently toxic plant and needs it to win a war. Is this a framing device or, will this be important later? We really don't know where Killian and Liam are from, although it certainly seems like the Enchanted Forest.

Since he's sworn off Neverland, it can't be too terribly long after Liam's death when he meets Milah. So maybe the wars are the Ogre Wars?

Oh Henry!: Yeah, I got nothing. I miss Rumpelstiltskin.

Best Line: "A one-handed pirate with a drinking problem?" - Peter Pan to/about Captain Hook. Ouch and zing - but let's be real, pop-psychologists don't diagnose guys with Captain Hook syndrome, now do they?

Missed Opportunity: "Go get some firewood or something." - Emma after that RAUNCHY kiss. Really Hook, all you can muster after THAT is "As you wish?" Well, I guess there's some precedent for simplicity.

Wait, What?: Is there really a sextant that will help them decode the map  and get them off the island? Cause...let's find THAT. It sounds more useful than a golden compass.

And where's Tinkerbell? She's possibly the inabitant  of the other cage along with Rumpel, or Owen/Greg. My money is on Ethan Embry. I think Tink is playing both sides of the field, because WE NEVER SAW A BODY. That line about there "not being enough of [Owen]" to salvage anything had to have been a lie, because all that happened to him was his shadow was taken.

There are three shadows roaming around loose...well, dissected from their owners. Rumpel, Pan, and Owen. Wonder what's up with them? 

Really OUAT?: Stop trying to make 'fetch' happen. No one wants to #savehenry. I have a feeling you'll get a lot more twitter traction with #shutupsnow and/or #shutupcharming.

Crackpot Theory: I don't know...I can't nail this down Pan's motives. The idea that he's grooming Henry to be the new Pan has some audience traction. But I just don't know. Pan really seems to have the world calibrated to his liking. And here's the other thing - we haven't yet seen him out and out lie. He tells the truth selectively, and in a way that will ultimately benefit him, but he does tell it. So I'm inclined to believe what he said to Henry about wanting/needing him to bring back magic. And it still doesn't explain how Pan knew to look for The Heart of the Truest Believer or how he got that sketch.
We also haven't seen him outside the context of Neverland, even though we know he's originally from the Enchanted Forest.

So how did Peter Pan find his way to Neverland and become its defacto ruler? Does anyone else find it odd that we haven't seen ANY fairies in Neverland yet, excluding the fallen Tinkerbell? This has shady blue fairy dust all over it to me.

Random Thoughts: Charming is an INSUFFERABLE ASSHOLE throughout this episode. "It's your fault we're here!" "Stay away from my daughter!" "Emma will never love you!" "You're a LIAR and liars SUCK." "You're nothing but a pirate" ...SAID THE SHEPERD WHO MASQUERADED AS A PRINCE AND MARRIED A TITLE. #ShutupCharming SHEESH.

OUAT drinking game - take a drink every time Regina: A. uses magic for something superficial. B. whines about how they could solve this problem with magic. C. says something snippy, D. uses a bad pun (all puns are bad puns.)

Henry turning that stick into an actual sword was not as neat as Robin Williams turning empty bowls into bowls full of rainbow frosting. Maybe that's my bias.