Monday Recap: Think Spoilery Thoughts

Since last week I failed at life and blogging, I am posting this super early. I may go back and do a posthumous post on Dark Hollow based on my notes, but know that this entry is very much a stream-of-semiconsciousness first draft and thanks to the good people at Time Warner Cable I missed the first 10-12 minutes of Think Lovely Thoughts.

Seriously, if ever there were spoilers - HERE THERE BE SPOILERS. Turn back.

Well. The bottom of the family tree starts with Henry..

GOOD GRIEF IS THE ONLY WAY TO NOT DIE ON THIS SHOW TO BE IMMEDIATELY RELATED TO HENRY??? Wait no. Cora died.

Who did we meet?: Li'l Rumpel! Rumpelstiltskin's two moms. And deadbeat dad. Sins of the father much?

When and Where did the events take place?: Enchanted Forest during Rumpel's youth, (This is now the furthest back we've gone in EF time!), and present day Neverland. Where it is now apparently daylight.

What did we learn?: Peter Pan's backstory, duh. Seriously SPOILERS AHEAD. Last warning.

Wait, what?: When did everyone have time for a wardrobe change? NOW Regina loses the blazer?

Oh Henry: Aw, the heart of the truest believer is RINGED IN GOLD. Also, seriously? You just...rip your heart out and hand it over to a teenage boy? What are you, a teenage girl? And no one thinks to mention how this went HORRIFICALLY WRONG for Cora?

Really OUAT?: If Robert Carlyle is out, I'm gone. Blog or no blog. Seriously, don't play me like that OUAT.

Random Thoughts/Crackpot Theory:

I really liked this episode. (Still #ShutUpSnow #ShutUpCharming) I really didn't see Pan's reveal coming until this episode unfolded, and it makes a LOT of sense. It very much hearkens back to Regina and Cora's relationship, but this feels fresh. Fairy tales are always about abandoned children - or feeling abandoned - because stories about happy well adjusted people are boring and there's not much we can learn from them.

We knew that these layers of Rumpel's father/Rumpel/Baelfire were coming - they just KEPT alluding to them. But I think it was deftly handled.

So we have Pan's beginnings, and we now have his present. What we're missing is a BIG chunk of the middle. How and when did Pan figure out that he would need the Heart of The Truest Believer to renew his (stolen) youth? How did he get Henry's picture? And strictly speaking, the shadow ISN'T Pan's. That actually might be the biggest reveal of the episode.

So we've got a magical shadow-being guiding a newly-minted tyrant around a magical island that manifests whatever children believe in. Ok.

The Shadow tells Pan that the price for giving up his son and regaining his youth is that he's only managed to buy himself a significant amount of time. Magic always comes with a price.

Pan "believes" he will find a solution to the problem that's been brought to his attention by a magical being with -ahem- shadowy motives.

As far as we know, beyond flight,conjuring, magical fluting, and crazy emotional manipulation - Pan does NOT have the power to see the future.

But no one leaves Neverland without Pan's blessing, and both Baelfire and Hook managed to do just that. We still don't know how much time passed in A Land Without Magic before that happened. But we know that Neal and Emma are close in developmental age, and she got knocked up at 18 because this is a FAMILY SHOW.

Pan KNEW that Bae was Rumpel's son, and he let him go from Neverland. Why? He kept all the other boys. Unless someone was whispering in his ear that he HAD to let Bae go in order to gain the Heart of The Truest Believer. Someone who KNEW about Baelfire, and Emma, and The Dark Curse, and Henry.

It may be a tired old chestnut, but I'm not ready to give up the ghost on that shady bitch. This whole scenario has fairy dust all over it. Blue Fairy Dust.

Monday Recap: Ariel or The Prince is Giving A Spoiler Ball!

Who did we meet?: Ariel, Eric, and Ursula (?) and some very oddly dressed court attendees.

 

When/Where did the events take place?: Pre-Dark Curse Enchanted Forest. (Presumeably around the time of the events of Skin Deep), Present Day Neverland.

Wait, What?: It's daylight in Neverland! Probably because all the SPECTACULARLY BAD nighttime CGI took place in the EF. Also they've been there a week. Camping. No one's hair looks like that after a week of camping.

Why does this matter?: Pan can only be killed if Rumpel dies? How does THAT work? Is this like...a Demona/MacBeth thing? Is it worth remembering that Pan is typically depicted with a dagger as his chosen weapon? It's interesting that we keep seeing Rumpel's survival instincts come to the fore.

Oh Henry!: Henry Free - Way To Be! We get so much more ACCOMPLISHED when he doesn't feature. Really, I'm just looking out for productivity here.

Really OUAT?: EVERYONE WANTS NEW DO-OVER BABIES. Since, y'know, we kind of sucked at 'parenting' the first time around.

Crackpot Theories: We've now ruled out Rumpel as the other person in the suspended cage. (Welcome back Robert Carlyle. We missed you.) That leaves Tinkerbell or Greg/Owen as our known knowns. Then there are the unknown knowns and the unknown unknowns. My money is still on Owen/Greg. Rumpel seems so sure that ShadowBelle is Pan's Shadow...I'm not convinced.

Best Line: "Mini Trident!" - Ariel. This was the BEST allusion to the Disney film.

Random Thoughts:

Emma is learning to use magic! From Regina. Anyone else reminded of Zuko teaching Aang to firebend?

Why are everyone's ears huge in this episode???

WEIRD design choices at the Ursula Ball. Epaulets and sashes and foofy tri-corner hats for the gentlemen and...Pzaz clearance rack for the ladies. And no, you can't curtsey in that dress Ariel baby. This is a family show.

Take a drink every time there's a hamfisted allusion to Disney's The Little Mermaid(tm)! Take two every time the allusion is to a song!

Omg. #ShutUpSnow. Please come back and write Jane Espenson. Consulting producer is not enough to keep this ship from listing.

"I can't ask him to give up his dream for someone he just met." - Ariel.  Uh....why not? He asked you to give up your LIFE with little more than a 'Shall We Dance'. I mean damn. Someone had his bossy boots on. This whole situation could be handled with a simple 'why don't we just get to know each other?', or failing that, YOU'RE A MERMAID. FOLLOW THE SHIP. Oh right, True Love means never having to say you're a mermaid. Did anyone else think that Ariel falling in love with Unconscious Prince Eric was a smidge...rapey? Then again I'm sure neither Snow nor Aurora would find it odd. Feminism in the EF. Oy. You're doing it wrong.

What could be in Rumpel's shop that would constitute A Fate Worse than Death? ARE WE GOING TO TURN PETER PAN INTO A PUPPET???

Regina-as-Ursula: THE FUCK is on your face?? Did a BP oil rig explode?

Prince What-Might-Have-Been.

Ursula's the sea goddess, right? I mean, she's either a goddess that merpeople worship OR she's a myth that no one takes all that seriously. Or are there mer-atheists? Ariel dear, there are cracks in your theology. Also, weren't you just in a cheap off the rack prom dress ballgown? Did you change your outfit to stand on the beach at night?

GilMcKinney made a very stiff and bossy sort of Eric. I wish they'd cast Matt Bomer.